Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
