Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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