i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
