he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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