I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
