And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
