id be glad to
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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