Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
