chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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