there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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