I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Porn is love you can see.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
