Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
3pm strippers are depressing
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
