If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
