I heard we made out
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
