Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
