When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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