what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
