Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
