I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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