I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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