Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
