Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
