Its about making memories worth repressing
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
