This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
