No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
