i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
