I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
