I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
