Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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