it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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