I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My ass is underappreciated
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
