i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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