you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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