That's when you crack a 10am beer
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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