i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Houston, we have a squirter
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
