you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
