woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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