Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
