I think I died a long time ago.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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