...so i touched it.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
