I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
