Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
