Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
