Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sext me about skeletons
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
