haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
