we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
