Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
