Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
