the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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