White coat. Heels.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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