I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
