Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
