That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish i was in the wii world.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
