Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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